Who knows how to make love stay?

Tell love you are going to the Junior’s Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half.

It will stay.

Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a mustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new.

It will stay.

Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep.

Love will be there in the morning.

Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

I am not one that pines for youth. Reaching 30 was like a great big relief, and I’m so excited to marry my best friend. I wish (like all of us) I could reach back in time and help out younger me. I don’t know if I’m that much wiser, but I’ve at least learned from some missteps. Here’s my attempt.

C’mon, space-time continuum, just flex enough for this to get sent back to younger Ali!

Don’t be such a rigid nonconformist.

You’re going to miss out on some fun things for the sake of eschewing everything mainstream. You are also going to put yourself through some hell to prove you’re “different.” Like, what are you proving being the only girl on the boy’s baseball team? (And soccer team??) You’ll hate it! Follow what you enjoy, whether it be conformist or not.

Learn a trade.

Your interests are weird and widespread, and you’re going to need some steady income to support them. Instead of taking the college track in high school, get your hairdressing license, or learn to weld or apprentice at at tattoo parlor or something.

Don’t go to college.

Greek life will confuse you, school spirit will confuse you, more math classes will confuse you. Move to a big city and take art classes, theater classes, singing lessons, and dance lessons. Volunteer. Get political. Participate in the world you live in. You won’t like the bubble of college.

Crazy relationships may be unavoidable, but end them quickly.

I had a professor once say that in our younger relationships, we can hear the dog-whistle call of someone’s crazy who resonates with our crazy. And then you get together and it’s one big crazy mess. Maybe that siren call of crazy is unavoidable, but getting out is a choice. Get out sooner rather than later!

Ask for help, and then accept it.

You’re going to come up against some mountains in your life. You cannot get over them on your own. Allow those that love you to support you. Surrender the idea you know everything and can control everything. You can’t.

Avoid roomates.

You need a place where you can dump all your pens on the floor, make art for a few hours, then get tired and go to sleep without cleaning up. Can’t do that with roomates.

Learn to be (just a little bit once in a while) politic.

Rushing headlong into battles of righteousness gets exhausting, and there are so many better ways to navigate other people.

Instead of trumpet, take up the guitar.

Music is grand, but band will be a colossal waste of youth. And, unless you’re really talented and passionate on trumpet (P.S. YOU’RE NEITHER) it won’t be a lifelong pursuit. From garage bands in your teens to prog-rock in your twenties to cover band thirties to the blues improv forties, guitar is forever.

You do not have a green thumb: your garden will die.

Marrying a sustainable agriculture major will help with this. Wait until then.

Don’t cut your own hair.

Just…trust me. Ooh! Also, don’t DYE your own hair. Yeesh.

Sid McNary III in Tuscany, Italy June 15-22

Daily yoga practice as provided by Sid
Meditations, journaling and daily workshops
Fruit feast and guided hikes
7 nights accommodation
Three organic, locally-sourced vegetarian meals daily

Spira Power Yoga on The Big Island, Hawaii

Two yoga classes a day with the view of the Pacific Ocean. The wind is silky upon your skin, the air smells of tropical flowers, you hear birds chirping and the ocean rumbling in your savasana. And after yoga all you have to do is enjoy the fantastic amenities this incredible eco-boutique hotel & spa has to offer.

Arizona Power Yoga in Costa Rica May 26-June 1

This retreat includes daily yoga practices, surf lessons, zip-line, and a volcano tour. Price for the week includes transportation, 3 meals per day, yoga, meditation and everything mentioned above!

Kevin Collins in Sayulita, Mexico June 8-15

We’ll take this week to live your yoga, putting our usual habits on hold and diving deep into our potential. Twice daily yoga practice, amazing healthy food, morning mediation and private, secluded beaches will wash away the tension and stagnation of our daily routines.

Bryan Kest in Adrasan, Turkey June 8-15

Bryan will offer two classes of yoga per day, two hours in the  morning and 1.5 hours in the late afternoon. Before the first class he  will also lead a morning walk through the mountains. The retreat center is located in a nature-reserved mountain valley  with an open view to the ocean. Guests are accomodated in wooden  bungalows that are embedded in a beautiful garden with paradise-apple  trees and flowers.

Because I’ve been totally geeking out on Alignment Charts lately, I thought I’d try to make one for yoga. NOT easy, since I don’t think of any yoga as inherently “good” or “evil” so I switched it up a little bit. Tell me what you think!

Ali

1. It makes me so happy when you take a break!

I talk about giving yourself permission to take a break all the time, but when it happens…it is like angels sing and bells are ringing! I’m so proud of you for taking care of yourself!

 2. Teaching is the best part of my day

Well, it’s a close second to hugging my man and petting my dogs, but it’s up there. I love teaching you and sharing with you. I feel engaged, alive, and full of love. This is not just a job to me. This is a passion.

3. I’ll never get over the fear that no one will come

From the time I get to the studio to the time the first student arrives, I do feel a lot of anxiety that I’ve set all this up for naught. That no one likes my class and no one will come. See: everyone has self-esteem issues!

4. I love folding towels

I LOVE folding towels. I’ve figured out how to fold almost any shape of towel into the same sized square. It is satisfying and meditative and domestic and I LOVE it.

5. I want you to succeed

I don’t make class hard because I want to see you fall on your face. When you grow and become stronger and more patient and centered…I feel like I was a part of it and that makes me feel awesome.

6. I’m not a vegetarian

I was a pescatarian for two years, but now I’m an omnivore. There. I said it.

7. I’m not religious…

I’m wary of the word “God” and won’t say that in class. All I know for sure is how little I know for sure, so I try to stay humble. It is in the spirit of humility I put my hands together and say OM.

8. But a voice told me to teach

I was in a bookstore 4 years ago reading “Four Hour Work Week.” There is a part of that book where the author assumes you have now become a millionaire, and he asks you what you’d like to do with your time. I heard a voice in my head say as clear as day, TEACH YOGA. So I do.

9. I had a falling out with yoga

There was brief time in my life, after I was already a teacher, when I stepped away from yoga. Now, talking with other teachers and practitioners, I realize this is not an unusual part of a yogic journey.

10. I’m not a perfect yogi

I get mad over little things, I only clean the house on Sundays, there are people I haven’t forgiven, I don’t always carry my re-useable coffee cup, I get impatient easily. I’m not perfect. I don’t teach you from a place of accomplishment, I teach you from a place of camraderie in the journey.

10waystokeepabeginnersmind pdf

my novel is now for sale on smashwords.com! 20% of the book is available to read for free!

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